


Constellations

by idrilhadhafang



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Dark, Creepy Snoke (Star Wars), First Order Poe Dameron, Food Issues, Later Smut, M/M, Masturbation in Shower, Sexual Fantasy, TIE Pilot Poe Dameron, Virgin Kylo Ren, between Darkpilot of course
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-21
Updated: 2019-05-22
Packaged: 2020-03-09 06:31:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18911473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: In the First Order, newly anointed Kylo Ren and TIE pilot Poe Dameron can’t deny their attraction to each other.





	1. Introductions

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MidgardianNerd](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MidgardianNerd/gifts).



> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author’s Notes: I know this sounds like a regurgitation of “Instantaneous” but I felt “Instantaneous” kind of fell apart, really.

Of course as part of the informal tour that Kylo  Ren was getting from General Hux (who he already found he disliked. There was something about him that seemed sniveling, conniving, even though it was buried very deep down), he had to be introduced to the TIE pilots. He couldn’t say that he wanted to spend any more time with Hux than he wanted to, but...here he was.

Unfortunately. 

A TIE fighter landed in the hangar of the  _Finalizer_ in that moment, and the pilot disembarked, dressed in a pilot’s uniform that reminded Kylo of holos he had seen about Darth Vader. 

(That was before he found out that his mother lied to him, of course. Even remembering that was enough to send a jolt of bitterness through him)   
  
And of course, the leader had to remove his helmet, and Kylo couldn’t help but be stunned. His slightly messy black hair that he shook back, his dark brown eyes, his tawny skin. He was, simply, beautiful. Everything about him seemed like a sculpture, and Kylo couldn’t help but feel a twinge of envy. Angry envy at that. TIE pilots weren’t supposed to inspire such feelings. Hux was talking, but Kylo could barely hear him. Well, he could hear snippets, snippets that were enough to make him nod along. He was grateful for the mask — not only for the fact that it concealed his expression of what was no doubt astonishment and envy, but because it concealed his features. _My terribly ugly features..._   


“Are you listening to a word I said?” Hux said. 

“Right,” Kylo said. “This is...the Commander, isn’t it? Of your TIE pilots.”

Hux nodded. “Commander Poe Dameron of the First Order TIE pilots.”

“Pleasure to meet you,” the Commander said, and even his voice — his voice was incredibly soft and pretty. Everything about him was beautiful, and the angry envy started up again. 

“Likewise,” Kylo forced out, and he wondered if his voice shook a little. 

Hux smiled that sort of smile that was enough to make Kylo’s skin crawl. “I’ll leave you two to get acquainted,” he said, and Kylo had a feeling that Hux just wanted to get rid of him. 

The feeling was mutual. 

Once Hux was out of earshot, Poe spoke.  “You were staring at me,” Poe said. “Was there...something wrong?”   
  
“Not at all,” Kylo said. “I’ve...never seen a TIE pilot without their helmet before.”   
  
”Ah. I see.”   
  
There was silence after that. “I’ve never met a...well, Force user before,” Poe said.    
  
“The Knights of Ren are a subset of Force users,” Kylo said. “You could say that we’re refugees.”   
  
Commander Dameron looked at him with pity. Very visible pity, much to Kylo’s discomfort. This...very beautiful man couldn’t really assess him with pity without it being embarrassing.    
  
“You’ll be safe here,” Poe said. “I mean...you could say that a lot of us are...” He grinned, a little crookedly, and kriff, how did he get even more beautiful in the process? “Well, we’re a pretty ragtag band."   
  
”I can imagine.” He was glad that the Commander wasn’t telepathic. And couldn’t pick up on his racing heart.    
  
“Do you like flying, Lord Ren?” Poe said.    
  
“I used to.” Kylo had very melancholy-in-hindsight memories about his father taking him flying when he was only a boy. 

“You don’t do it anymore?” Poe said. 

“The last time I flew a ship was coming here.”

”Oh.” Then Poe gave him another crooked grin. “It can be fun, you know. I don’t get to fly for fun very often, but...still.”

Was he always so friendly and cheerful, and why did Kylo’s stomach do flip-flops even talking to him. 

“A pity,” Kylo said. 

“It’s not too bad,” Poe said. “I do what I can. In service to the First Order, of course.”

”I see.” Then, “How long have you been with the First Order, Commander?”

”Since I was a kid.” Then, “Here’s to future missions together, Lord Ren.”

”Yes.” Kylo wondered if the modulator could conceal his voice trembling like a leaf. Not out of fear...but out of what he could assume was attraction. 

And...   
  
Was he smitten? He couldn’t help but wonder. It was absurd, of course; you couldn’t get smitten in the course of one conversation, but Kylo’s mouth felt dry and his heart was racing. Poe was so witty and charming and kind and kriffing beautiful...   
  
Beautiful. That same angry envy and want came up in that moment, and he couldn’t help but —   
  
He took a long breath. It was nothing. Nothing really. He had to report to the Supreme Leader, report how he was settling in.   
  
His private quarters were perfectly set up for the Supreme Leader to contact him. The Supreme Leader appeared, looming over Kylo much like some sort of god. “Kylo Ren,” he rumbled. “How goes the day?”

Kylo recounted the day. Snoke expressed disapproval of his disgust towards Hux, and expressed interest when Poe Dameron was brought up. At least, his head tilted.    
  
“Indeed,” Snoke said. “You...covet him?”   
  
”Only what he has,” Kylo said. Mostly his beauty. Kylo had never been beautiful. Or charming.    
  
Snoke scoffed. “Envy and lusts of the flesh are a waste of time. The only thing you should covet is power. Power, and nothing more.”   
  
Kylo craned his head to look at the Supreme Leader. “I assure you, I do not...lust after him.”   
  
”I see your mind,” Snoke said. “All too well. I suppose it’s understandable; you have never been with anyone, never been...intimate...”   
  
”I understand completely,” Kylo insisted. As much as he was grateful to the Supreme Leader for taking him and the rest of his fellow students in, he didn’t want to hear the Supreme Leader talking about...intimacy.    
  
“But these things have no place here. They are only a distraction from what you must truly, above all else, desire.”   
  
“By the grace of your training,” Kylo said, “I will not be swayed. Or...seduced.”    


“We shall see,” Snoke rumbled. “We shall see.”

He vanished, and Kylo was alone with his thoughts, and the knowledge that he...coveted Poe Dameron, for lack of a better word. Sometimes the Supreme Leader knew him better than he knew himself. He could only hope that he could stay steady. 

After all, the Dark Side had rules. Rules that said that the only thing worse than love was mercy. And Kylo wasn’t about to fail as a Dark Sider. As a Knight. 

He couldn’t. 


	2. Desire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo fantasizes about Poe and summarily thwarts himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

 It was the next morning that Kylo woke up with an aching beast of an erection that trying to resolve via grinding against the bed or even ignoring (or trying to think of something un-erotic) didn’t help at all. The sounds Poe had made in his fantasy hadn’t helped matters. 

It seemed that even his body wasn’t free of this newfound envy and desire. He, simply, needed Poe Dameron. Maybe a shower could rid his body of its obsession, but...

He stepped in the shower after undressing. Took his shaft in hand and thought of the sheer  _noises_ Poe made in his fantasy. His moans and gasps at everything that Kylo did. His fingers, breaching Poe as Poe moaned and swore. 

_“ — kriff, Kylo, this feels so good, don’t stop...”_

_Kylo, smiling. “I’m not stopping. Not unless you want me to.”_

Kylo stroked. In a way, he didn’t need warming up or teasing; he just needed to get rid of this physical need that was threatening to eat him alive. He stroked hard, thinking of being inside Poe. Poe gasping and moaning at being filled up. 

“Want you, want you, want you so much.” Kylo practically rambled even as he continued stroking his swollen shaft. “Please...”

He pictured Poe’s brown eyes almost going black with pleasure. Marking up that pretty neck. Poe, begging in that pretty voice of his, and stars, Kylo was so close to exploding —

He came with an almost visceral scream of Poe’s name. A scream that seemed to hold so much even as he came into his hand. 

He leaned into the shower wall, his shaft limp and drained of release. He cleaned himself up, suddenly feeling embarrassed; to think that he had had an orgasm like that over someone he had just met...

Someone who was a substantial bright spot in a period of his life where it seemed he had lost everything. 

 Amazing how that worked, really. 

 ***

It was long after Kylo’s training had completed for the day that he walked out of Snoke’s throne room, feeling almost discouraged despite himself. He was powerful — he had heard about his “raw strength” enough that he was honestly sick of it. But he didn’t feel powerful. He should have. He was at least strong enough to bring a roof down on Luke Skywalker, but that had been an accident, a fit of desperation. 

Now, when it came to combat, Kylo Ren could not feel any more inadequate if he tried. 

If there was a console nearby, Kylo would have slashed it. For now, he had to be content with storming down the hallways —

— and rounding the corner to run into Poe Dameron. 

“Bad day?” Poe said, gently, gently enough that such a blisteringly obvious question seemed like a genuine concern. Kylo couldn’t say he expected it. 

“Bit of an understatement,” Kylo said wryly. 

“Didn’t think you had a sense of humor. I like it,” Poe said, and he had a bright sort of smile that Kylo didn’t mind at all. In fact, it made him look even more radiant. 

“It got me in trouble...more than once in my life.” Kylo said. 

“Well,” Poe said, “I like it. Makes me want to get to know you. The man behind the mask.”

”You don’t want to know,” Kylo said. 

Silence. 

Then, “You know, people are speculating about you,” Poe said. “Where you came from, what you look like under the mask...”

”I doubt they want to know either.”

”Why?”

 _Because you’re so beautiful, and I am so ugly._ Kylo was all but braced for ridicule and taunts from Poe when he removed his mask. The freckles on his skin that were like pockmarks, his large nose and ears...

Kylo took a deep breath. “I am not a good-looking man.”

”I’m sure you are,” Poe said. “Truth be told...I want to know more about you.”

”You think we can be friends?” Not that Kylo was complaining, per se. But something about wooing Poe properly — though he doubted he could do it with flowers and chocolate — was occurring to him more than friendship. To win this beautiful, talented man’s heart...

”Why not?” Poe said. 

“I was wondering.” A beat. “I will admit you are an...interesting man.”

”So are you. I mean, you can command the Force — I’ve never met a Force user before!” Poe sounded genuinely excited in that moment. 

“I’m...mediocre.” 

Poe scoffed. “Who said that?”

”A couple of people.”

”Well, in my experience, there’s no such thing as mediocre.”

Kylo swallowed. Of all the things he expected after his first lesson with Snoke, it wasn’t being comforted by a pilot who had never touched the Force before. 

As if Poe couldn’t make his heart flutter more. 

“So, it’s nearly lunch,” Poe said. “Do you usually...eat with everyone?”

”I usually eat in my chambers,” Kylo said. 

“Alone?”

”Yes.”

“You could eat with me,” Poe offered.

Kylo hesitated, almost panicked. Even thinking about having his mask off in front of Poe was frightening, and yet...

Poe captivated him like he never thought possible.

“In my chambers, then.”

”No problem.” 

***

Eating in Kylo’s chambers was more than a bit odd for Poe. For starters, Kylo’s portions were just too small for Poe’s tastes (then again, Poe was usually quite the big eater) and almost unappetizing-looking. It was hard to explain, but it was like something that Dagobah had puked up. It was something that Poe couldn’t imagine eating. How could Kylo Ren even feel full with that measly meal? 

For another, Kylo unmasked while he ate, and Poe couldn’t help but be startled by his beauty. His full lips, almost ruby in color, his eyes, brown and expressive. His freckles, contrasting against moon-pale skin. His curly black hair.

”I’m not a good-looking man,” Kylo said, and stars, even his voice was almost angelic in nature. “I don’t wear the mask because of vanity but — ”

Poe smiled at him. “You don’t have to justify yourself,” he said.

Kylo ate, picking at his meager portions of food. Poe couldn’t eat watching him — already, his hunger was overridden by worry. 

“Here,” he said, pushing his food towards Kylo. 

Kylo looked up at him in surprise. “Aren’t you hungry?”

”I’m not..." Almost on cue, Kylo winced. It was probably his stomach protesting against that paltry meal. 

“It’s not much,” Poe said. “But it’s good.”

Kylo picked at the food at first, before shoveling it down, much to Poe’s fascination. Eventually he laid back, sighing almost contentedly — it was strange seeing a Knight of Ren content, but also cute. 

“Thank you." Kylo said. 

Poe beamed. “What can I say? Big guy like you needs to eat. Properly.” A beat. “Maybe after training with the Supreme Leader you can come by. See me."

He swore that some color came into those pale cheeks. “I could.” A beat. “You...noticed how I looked.”

”I don’t think you’re bad-looking,” Poe said. “At all.”

Kylo — Poe swore that a faint smile crossed those pretty lips. “Thank you.” A beat. “I assure you that the feeling is mutual.”

Poe swallowed, long after Kylo had walked away. He had had people compliment his looks before, but there was something in Kylo’s eyes that had looked almost vulnerable as he spoke those words. Some sort of adulation that was powerful in its intensity.

So they were both captivated by the other. What happened now? 

***

After the second training session, Kylo met with Poe, and he couldn’t help but be grateful for the pilot not being able to read minds. What had initially been attraction and covetous anger had been tinged with gratitude, gratitude for Poe’s kindness. 

(Kylo doubted his emotions could soften. They could complicate, but not soften)

He split dinner with Poe while they talked. Talked about different things. There was something about talking with him that was comforting — he hadn’t expected to make a friend in the First Order (outside of his Knights, of course), let alone someone so kind and...beautiful. 

He couldn’t go down that path, though. He could still remember what Snoke had said. As much as he...coveted Poe. 

“So,” Poe said, “What do you do in training?”

”I practice combat,” Kylo said. _And I’m not very good at it. “_ I learn how to use the worst of my life experiences as fuel for my power.”

”Sounds a little stressful,” Poe said. 

“It’s cathartic, actually.” Kylo took a deep breath. “From what I understand, the Dark Side draws off rage, hatred, grief...everything the Jedi would advise against.”

”I can see why you left the Jedi,” Poe said. 

“Yes.” And even then, Poe didn’t know about Luke trying to kill him. 

“Wouldn’t you say that both Orders are...pretty extreme?”

Kylo swallowed. He couldn’t say that he expected that. 

“Well,” he said, “Don’t say that in front of the Supreme Leader.”

Poe smiled, softly. “I won’t.”

Kylo really looked at him, struck by how deep those eyes could go. Brown eyes. Beautiful, deep brown eyes. He would feel a sort of angry envy towards Poe if not for how kind Poe was being. How did he survive being so kind, Kylo wondered, in the First Order? It really did make Kylo...for lack of a better word, admire him more.

A kind man, beautiful beyond compare. A talented pilot. Kylo knew that he was effectively doomed. 

It was after they’d both finished that Poe spoke. “So...we both want each other.”

Kylo was already startled by the statement but said, “What makes you think that?”

”You’re not actually that subtle about what you feel.”

Great. Just great. 

Poe continued. “I see the way you look at me. You want me. Why do you deny yourself?”

”I can’t fall in love with you,” Kylo said. “And the problem is that I think I already have.”

There. He had said it. 

Poe actually looked...flattered, for lack of a better word. “Why deny yourself?”

”The Dark Side has...rules,” Kylo said. 

“What kind?”

Kylo swallowed. “Well,” he said, “Only mercy is worse than love.”

”That’s silly,” Poe said. “Mercy at least differentiates us from the Resistance, who show none.”

Now that Kylo thought about it...anything that differentiated them from the Resistance was, truly, something. And yet... “It’s not that simple. When it’s built into the foundations of an order since before I was born...”

”Why can’t you change it?”

”Don’t say such things in front of the Supreme Leader.”

”No, really. Why?”

Kylo couldn’t think of an answer. He wished he could.

”We could keep it a secret,” Poe said. “We don’t even have to make it about love. Not yet.”

”I can’t hide anything from the Supreme Leader.” A beat. “There are...techniques, but I don’t know how well they work. I’ll think about them, but I don’t want you to...to...”

”To what?”

”Be hurt because of me.”

”I won’t be.” 

Silence. 

“He’s powerful,” Kylo said. 

“So are you.”

”Not enough.”

”You will be,” Poe said, and Kylo could only hope everything he said was true. 


End file.
